


Lying to you

by maggei



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Songfic, Unrequited Love, i hope i make u cry, mentions of Genji - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 21:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11134977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggei/pseuds/maggei
Summary: I can see in your eyes that you mean itI can feel in your arms that it's trueAnd though I just heard myself say it,Baby, I'm lying to youBaby, I'm lying to you





	Lying to you

**Author's Note:**

> the fic is based off of [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6-QvBz9_lY)

“I love you.” 

The words echoed in his head, and all he could do is stare. Love him? How? Unfathomable, he thought. Jesse’s awaiting, nervous expression made him bite his lip. _I don’t love him._

“Jesse…” He spoke, his voice calm, soft. He had known this man for years, they had met through his brother, Genji, and they grew close. They were some sort of friends, but he wouldn’t quite consider him a best friend. Still, he felt as if he denied things would become awkward. He forced a smile, as genuine as he could manage. “I love you too.”

The happiness that sparked in Jesse’s eyes was something that wasn’t rare to see, but he had never been the cause of it. A feeling of pure, utter agony, but also one of delight settled in the pit of his stomach. He had lied to his friend just to make him happy.

Jesse presses his lips to Hanzo’s, to Hanzo’s surprise. He reminds himself this isn’t for his own need. He kisses back, and gets lost in it. Jesse’s hands find themselves on Hanzo’s hips, and Hanzo’s arms come around the cowboy’s neck. When they pull away, Jesse is grinning.

“Oh God, I am so happy you feel the same way, Han,” Jesse chimed. Hanzo chuckled, of course, fake, but it seemed convincing enough.

“How could I not love you, Jesse?” He knows why he doesn’t; he enjoys being alone. The isolation soothes him, he is unworthy of love.

“Aw, shucks. Now you’re just flatterin’ me.” Unfortunately, Hanzo _was_ only doing it for flattery.

Hanzo wants to run. He wants to hide away from Jesse, he doesn’t know what to do anymore. Why must he had spared his feelings? He should have told the truth, but there was no going back from here.

Hanzo loves Jesse, but as a friend. He is not in love with him, however. He hopes he’ll be able to convince himself he does, and make it a hell of a lot easier. 

\--

When Hanzo moves in, Jesse, as he expected, is a giant cuddler. He grips like a bear, and doesn’t let go. He still feels cold, even though this big man is hugging him. He is only aged to thirty-eight, but yet, he feels like he could be a senior citizen. The stress of it is becoming too much.

Hanzo plays along, like his love is true, genuine. Gladly, Jesse seems to think it’s genuine, too. Hanzo tells him that he is not ready to constantly admit his love. Jesse understands. Hanzo is sure that this would be the case if he did love Jesse, but it’s just an excuse to spare himself.

Whenever Hanzo hears himself tell Jesse he loves him, he wants to sob. He wants to cry, and run. The impulse to isolate himself is constant, but he remembers this is only for Jesse. He wants his friend to be happy, as all he has done in his life is constant mistakes, even if this counts as one.

Hanzo finds it a miracle that Jesse loves him, though. He feels so very ashamed in himself that he is unsure how one can hardly stand to be next to him. He does not feel as if he deserves any sort of praise, or friendship. He considers himself a kinslayer. He killed Genji. He caused his new body.

He feels Jesse shift, and hears him groan in his ear as he stretches. It was a tell-tale sign that Jesse was very groggily waking. 

“Mornin’, sunshine,” Jesse yawns. He kisses Hanzo’s neck, and Hanzo attempts to not tense up at the action.

“Good morning, Jesse,” he greets.

A frown settles on Hanzo’s face, and he’s glad he’s not facing Jesse. He thinks to himself about how this has gone on for four straight months, and he is still lying to Jesse about his feelings. He is unsure what to do. Does he tell the truth? Does he continue living this lie?

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i hope it was enjoyable, i hope to post more fics in the near future!  
> my tumblr is zoruapng !!


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